The Post I Wish I Didn't Have to Write...

This is Lindsay.  My friend Lindsay.  Even though I never got to meet her.

You see, Lindsay and I had a few mutual connections.  Her sister Mara and I used to work together, and have stayed in touch here and there ever since.  And my good friend Justin and Lindsay met living in Durham and instantly hit it off and became good friends.  Once, Justin drove Lindsay to Winston so she could spend the weekend with Mara and her family.  And upon meeting Justin, Mara recongized him.  She finally figured out that it was because of me, and a big round of connections was made.

Pieces were put together, and Lindsay and I "met" through Facebook shortly thereafter.  May seem silly, but it's what happened.

The girl was FUN.  You could just tell.  She was a phenomenal writer and had a blog that I became an instant fan of and I loved to check in and see what all she had to say that day.  Her way of saying things could make you think your hardest and laugh your silliest from one moment to the next.  She'd pick at me about State and I'd return the favor when it came to Carolina.  We always said "We need to meet!" and always said we'd make it happen, eventually.  We were both randomly in Austin, TX just last month and tried to meet up, but our plans had us running in different directions during our time there.  We even shot for a quick "Nice to meet you!" hug in the airport, but our flight schedules didn't match up, either. 

One of our biggest connections was that we both had Crohn's Disease.  I've had it since I was little, Lindsay more recently.  We would email now and then - rarely, even - to check in on each other.  I tried to answer questions here and there and encourage her that there were lights at the end of the various tunnels that she encountered.

Two days ago, Lindsay took her own life.  And I have been totally heartbroken.  For her family.  For her friends.  For her.

People are searching everywhere for answers, as they always do in this type of situation.  I certainly don't claim to have any, as I had never even actually met her.

I think, though, that having never met her but counting her as a friend speaks to the person she was.  Brightening the lives of people everywhere she went, with everything that she did.  Even when it came to strangers.  Checking on people and encouraging them and making sure they knew that she was in their corner, always.  She was just the definition of a good person.  And I know without a doubt that she will be so very sorely missed.  I'll certainly miss her.

We all love you, Lindsay.