Five! A Whole Hand!

Oh Sam.  You are five today.  Five years old.  I have no idea how on earth that is possible...

I have been thrilled to be a part of your life since, well, before you were even born.  I remember like it was yesterday the night that your mom told me you were on your way.  She swore me to secrecy because it was so early, but because I spent so much time with Spencer, she knew I'd figure it out before long.  I felt like I was holding on to golden information and it took everything I had to not spill the beans, but I didn't say a word.

I was at Will's (before Ben!) when your mom called me to tell me you were here.  She was so tired and awfully drugged, but she was so so happy to announce your arrival.  The next day, when she called to see if I could do some things at the house for her, I was on the phone when Spencer walked in to meet you for the first time at the hospital.  Before I hung up, I heard his little chubby-faced voice say "Mommy, where's the baby???" and I fell apart crying.

Spencer and I welcomed you home the next day with 29 light blue balloons, 1 orange one and 1 green one (Who knows why.  He was 4.  I went with it.).  We covered the house in posters and waited patiently for you to get there.

You were brought into the house and set down on the kitchen table in your carseat.  You were in my arms within about 30 seconds.  I was absolutely head over heels for you from the second I laid eyes on you.

Sam - you were a tough baby.  Colic and reflux and torticollis in your little neck.  When you were happy you were a complete joy.  When you were not happy - look out.  I can remember getting a call to please just come over and hold you one night, that you wouldn't stop screaming.  By the time I got there - of course - you were sound asleep.  Mommy wouldn't let me leave, though.  I sat in the chair in the corner of the bedroom for a couple of hours and just held you and watched you sleep.  (It is so funny - but I still remember that you were in a white terrycloth set of footed pjs that night that had a little yellow duck on the front.)

You were talking like an adult before anyone could blink.  It was always funny to me that as such a young baby you would request your own lullabies.  We'd sit in the dark as I would rock you and from behind that paci you would say "Becca, sing Sunshine.  Black Sheep please, Becca."  And if you were upset, you'd reach up and say "Becca hold you?  Becca hold you?" when you needed to be comforted.

I've been front and center for every one of your school programs at Knollwood and I can't believe that you only have one left.  I have a voicemail on my phone that refuse to delete of you singing "Five Little Ducks" from May of 2009.  I can't ever make myself delete that sweet little voice singing to me...

I've watched you turn 1, and 2, and 3, and 4....and now 5.  I can't believe it.

You've turned into such a fun little boy.  You love to wrestle and you are nuts about Spiderman.  You are very aware of all of the cute girls in your life and are already wondering which one of them you should marry.  You could live at the beach and you are already a natural on the soccer field.

You love hashbrowns like no one I've ever seen and can eat a grown adult under the table when it comes to chips and guacamole.  Your sweet blond curls make people melt and your eyes squint shut when you laugh your ever-infectious laugh.  You are about the cutest thing ever.

My life would be so very dull without you in it.  I love you to the moon and back, Sam Muller.  Happy Birthday!

Love, Becca