Pray for Sweet Jack

Thursday morning in St. Louis, this precious thing will have surgery to work on the nerves in his spine so that he will be able to take off running to chase his brother/play football/be a wide open little boy.  (That is the short version.  I have of course read up on the very specifics and scoped out the doctor, as I love this little guy more than I can handle).

If you do anything between now and then, please pray.  Pray for Jack, first and foremost, that he will do beautifully in surgery.  Pray for his dear parents and that adorable twin brother of his, and for all of their family.  Pray for the doctors and everyone else in Jack's care.  It's a big day for all of them.  They've waited for it for a long time, hit some speed bumps along the way, and they are ready.

Precious Jack, I love you.  I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on you in that NICU 4 1/2 years ago and ever since then I have affectionately called you my little boyfriend.  Just two days ago you curled up in my lap for some snuggles when I saw you and melted my heart just like you always do.  You are going to do SO WELL with this.  You've got so, so many people that love you and goodness knows you went through more at the beginning of your life than most people will ever go through.  You're a tough one, and that will serve you well.  We can't wait to love on you and Will and your mom and dad when you get back.  Until then feel lots and lots of love coming from here at home - and from everywhere!

I love you, dear boy - 
Love, Becca

Dear Mac

Sweet boy, I am your Aunt "Betta".  Your sister calls me that and it may very well be the best thing anyone has ever called me.

I am madly in love with you already.  The past several weeks have been full of early morning phone calls with your mom to check in on you (and her) and lots of emails and text messages and more phone calls during the days to keep on checking.  You were quite the little trickster as of late on when you'd get here and kept us all guessing all the time.

Your mother, the rock star, texted me something about a recipe at 9 am on your birthday.  At 9:30 she said she was taking your sister (more on her later) to the doctor for a strep test.  I told her to keep me posted.  At 11:15 I got another message that the strep test had been ditched and you were coming and coming SOON.  At 11:38, a message that you'd be here by lunch.  At 2:42 a photo of you from your daddy, and at 2:42.3 a phone call from your mom that you were here and were about 30 minutes old.  She chatted me up just like she was talking about that silly recipe from earlier.  Didn't sound tired or anything.  She's pretty cool.

Let me fill you in on a few things:

Your mama is my favorite person.  She has been for a very, VERY long time.  When I came to meet you, a nurse walked in while I was snuggling with you and said to us "Oh, you guys are sisters!"  If I had a penny for every time we've heard that, I'd take you and Emmy to Disney World.  She looked at us like we were lying when we said no.  We've been through it all together, little boy.  We've seen it all.  We've seen good and bad and sad and fun and everything else and never left each other's side in any of it.  We've celebrated and we've grieved.  She has quite literally held my hand through the biggest moments of my life and I've done the same for her.  I wouldn't be me without her, sweet thing.  She is faithful and beautiful and smart and unconditional.  She is funnier by the day, too, which I attribute to your dad.  (He's next.)  You are going to LOVE your mom.

And oh, your daddy.  Mac, listen to me when I say that your dad is the kindest person I know.  Ask anyone.  He will teach you to be a GOOD person.  He will teach you to give the world's best hugs that can make someone's day.  You will be funny because of him because he is really funny.  He'll teach you that it's just fine and wonderful to be a man who cries at the things that matter.  You will always see how much he loves your mom.  When we were in high school, long before your parents were married or even dated, he said he was going to marry her.  He is a man of his word.  All the time.  The biggest thing I can hope for you is that you'll be just like him.

And then there's Emmy.  Your sister is, without a doubt, just the best little girl on the planet.  The day that you were born, all I could think about was the day that she was born.  My drive to Charlotte was nearly identical and I got lost in the silly hallways and crazy parking decks just like I did with her.  The moment I laid eyes on Emerson almost 3 years ago my heart melted and she's had me wrapped ever since.  You just wait, you are going to have the BEST time with her.  She has the biggest, most loving heart, because she is part your mom and part your dad and that's how they both are.  She will teach you a lot, and I know she will love you like crazy.  She will protect you I know, and she could not be any prouder - already! - to be your sister.

And as for me, well, I'm pretty sure you could burn my house down one day and I would still love you.  I'll be here for you for forever and ever.  I will spoil you rotten and there's nothing anyone can do to stop me.  I always knew I'd love kids that your mom had because she's my person.  But oh.  Oh my stars.  Emmy and now you.  I'm pretty sure God has put me on the slower track to motherhood just so I can have plenty of time to play with you and your sister before it's my turn.

So far your crooked bottom lip is my favorite.  The list of things I will learn to love about you will go on for days and span years and years.  You've got my favorite little name for a boy.  Your mama knows that.  She told me I can still use it one day, too, but the moment I saw your face I knew I wouldn't ever do it.  You are Mac and you are totally a piece of my heart, you precious boy.  I love you SO much and I'm so glad you are finally here.

Love,
Aunt Betta

What a Trooper

This is Walker.  I met Walker, his mom and his two sisters last night out at Old Salem to do some photos of the kids.  I'd never met them before, and they were a total breeze to work with.

See this kid?  About 2.5 seconds after I snapped this shot, that split rail fence you see him sitting on snapped like a twig and sent him flipping backwards, right to the ground, landing square on his back.  Photography can be a dangerous business...

He landed HARD.  I was mortified, but he got right up, rubbed his back a little, then told me he was ready to keep going.  Bless his heart.

Little Ol' Winston-Salem

Not long ago I was having lunch with dear, dear friends from high school who were both in town for the weekend.  One lives in South Carolina, the other in Tennessee.  As we were catching up on life in general, Kelly asked me what it is like to live in Winston as a 'grown up'. If it is like just living where you grew up and went to high school all over again.

No no not at all...

Now, it is possibly the worst place on the face of the earth to be my age and single, but other than that, I just love it here.  (Please all take a moment to think of the guys that you know that are tall and love football but hate Carolina...)

Lately, I've loved it even more here because of the incredible sense of tight community felt here.  Now, I know that any place has more than fair its share of 'stuff' that goes on.  The unexpected sad news or circumstance that makes you wonder how such a thing could happen to one person or to one family.  But let me tell you what, Winston has had what I think could most accurately be referred to as a black cloud hanging over it for the better part of a year for a lot of people.  My friend Suzanne called it "2012, the year of Gloom and Doom" the other night in a conversation, and I thought that she sure was on target.

There have been sick, sick children and terrible car accidents and shocking medical issues with parents and siblings and the list goes on and on and on.  It's almost scary to open up emails or take phone calls sometimes, as it just seems like you don't know if "Did you hear about...?" will be on the other side and be something that will make the color drain from your face and leave you speechless.

But, I will tell you one thing.  This place sticks TOGETHER.  I would be willing to bet that there are some seriously bruised and battered knees around this town from hitting the ground in prayer over and over and over again as these things have happened.

And all you have to do is barely whisper around here that you need a little help in such a time, and your door will be stormed.  I'm talking "give-me-your-kids-and-the-dog-too-and-I'll-water-the-plants-and-pick-up-your-Dad-at-the-airport-and-do-your-back-to-school-shopping-and-let-your-brother-stay-here-when-he-gets-to-town" kind of stuff.  I know that this happens all the time in any town.  But it has happened time after time after time after time in Winston lately.

You will not find a door that is not open in this town.  You will not find arms that are not ready to catch you and your entire family.  You will not find a church that isn't praying.  No fight around here is fought alone.  Not even close.  Folks find that one big thing or those lots of little things that they can do to help someone that needs it, and they don't ask, they just do them.

As for me, I will pray for you SO hard.  That is a given.  And as funny as it is, I will grab my camera and go find your children and make them feel special.

Like with Lilly.  Whose grandparents, on their way to her dance recital, were in a terrible car accident that sent her parents out of town at a moment's notice.  She went from a full family row of cheerleaders to none of them being in attendance because of the accident.  Oh, but don't you worry.  She may have been the biggest deal of a 5-year-old tap dancer you've ever seen at her recital.  She got hugs and high fives and everything else from other parents, friends and siblings and was just precious.

Or Jane and Gray.  Their baby brother, Josh, had to have fairly short-notice open heart surgery in Boston that landed on the first day of school  For Jane, it was the first day of Kindergarten.  Well, at school yesterday there were literally dozens of people all over them both wishing a great first day to them both and good things for Josh.  I heard teachers and principals yell out to Jane as she walked in to have a great day.  Her picture was being taken by everyone that saw her.  I saw at least 5 people video recording their entrance to school to send to their parents.

And that is what I love most about Winston.  The community around here is absolutely amazing.  It is fun and vibrant and dedicated and will rally around someone like you've never seen when the time calls for it.

You will go through nothing here alone.  Not one single thing.

SIX! This calls for a sleepover...

My sweet triplets turned six last week.  Cue me feeling ancient, I still remember wrapping their gifts when they turned one...

A dance party was in order - with all the trimmings, of course.  Stacy had some sweet, dear teenage girls on hand to do hair and makeup for the ballerinas, and it was a hoot to see them all dolled up.  Even if the lipstick was a little, ahem, bold.

The girls had a great time.  Lulu of course joined in not aware, not even a little bit, that she is only 2.  I even got out there and danced a little and for a second I think I felt 6, too.

I even got to have a little date with my Viv that day, which was a cherry on top of the party for me.

I think it's safe to say the birthday girls had a good time.  Gosh they are cute.

As a total surprise, I had arranged with Stacy to let the girls come spend the night at my apartment that night.  I wondered if they would be hesitant, as they had never gone on a sleepover before.  I was wrong.  I pulled into the driveway to pick them up and there they all stood, screaming, clutching their pillows and jumping up and down.

We had the BEST time.  Out to dinner and a movie, past their bedtime, with popcorn AND cookies.  We were living on the edge.  We had every blanket and pillow I own plus three sleeping bags piled into the center of my den, toys everywhere, lovies everywhere, and it was heaven to me.  During the movie Caroline snuggled up with me and said "Becca, can we please do this again?" and as they were falling asleep I heard Gabby say to Sophie "Soph, hasn't this been the most fun ever?"  I felt like George Banks when he hears the kids yell 'I love you' to each other across the hall the night before the wedding in Father of the Bride.  Talk about pulling on my heartstrings.

And one of my favorite parts was hearing cartoons from the shower the next morning and coming out to find this:

The sleepover was a huge success.

Happy Birthday, my precious girls.  I love you!

The Sound of Music

I was humbled and honored to take photos this weekend at a gorgeous backyard wedding here in Winston.  The mother of a longtime friend from high school was married at their home and I was fortunate enough to be there behind the camera to capture the beautiful event for their family.

Not long after I arrived and ran around getting photos of centerpieces, the cake, the last touches being put everywhere, Michael, the minister of music from their church arrived to fit in a little tuning and practice before the ceremony.

I became enthralled with watching him warm up and hearing his beautiful violin.  Maybe it was the gorgeous green all around him in the backyard and the fact that I don't think anyone else had even noticed him yet.  But I was sucked right in.

I have been blessed with an incredible love for music.  This is what makes me a "Frye" (my grandmother's family) more than anything else.  (That and my hands....every woman in our family has the same hands, I feel like.)

You will be hard pressed to find anyone on that side of my family that cannot carry a tune, keep great rhythm, and play at least one musical instrument.  When my great uncle Harold died a few years ago, my mom was quick to point out that our family section at the church service sounded like a full blown choral ensemble, and that for most hymns a lot of the group didn't even need hymnals and could sing the respective 'parts' by ear.

In our family, learning to read music has always been just as important as learning your multiplication tables and how to tie your shoe.  Just a few weeks ago at church the music with the hymn in the hymnal was not at all the same tune as what was being sung.  After church Mom said something to me about how "that wasn't even the same tune that was printed!" and I quickly said "yes, but how many people in the congregation actually even knew that, do you think?"

Part of our Christmas tradition every year growing up was, truly, nearly a concert at my grandparents house.  All of the grandchildren would take turns playing a song (usually Nanny's favorite, 'O Little Town of Bethlehem') on any variety of instruments.  Then my mom and her sisters would always line up at the piano to play their holiday trio of Sleigh Ride.  I've heard this every Christmas of my life.

I so, SO appreciate that music has always been so important in my family.  I have vivid memories of my grandparents in the choir at church when I was very young, of going to see my cousins in concerts many, many times through the years, and of being very involved in music growing up myself.  I often feel like I can still hear my grandmother humming.  She did it ALL the time, and it was like some sort of background soundtrack for my childhood.

Music often brings me to tears.  A gorgeous arrangement of something can take the breath out of me.  Just this weekend at the backyard wedding, Michael stepped back into the aisle during the ceremony and played The Lord's Prayer, and I forgot for a moment that I needed to keep taking pictures because I got so wrapped up in how beautiful it was.

I've realized that I am just like my mother used to be when I was younger now at church.  I clench my teeth when people talk during the music during the worship service.  I have even, from time to time, thrown her 'look' in the general direction of those folks who seem to think that the music during the service is some sort of free-for-all to whisper down a pew.  These things MORTIFIED me growing up, and now here I am...

I'm so thankful that music has always been instilled in me.  I think I speak for every single Frye when I say that it's a blessing.  Music is healing and full of worship.  It can calm sometimes when nothing else can.  An appreciation of it is a true gift.  A gift for which I will always be grateful. (Which is exactly how my great-grandmother would have worded it.) :)

Love and Happiness...

I know that there are hundreds, thousands, likely even millions of things floating around out there right now about the Amendment One vote that took place yesterday in North Carolina.  I'm not thinking that what I have to say will matter to anyone any more or less than what anyone else has to say, but I seem to put my thoughts together on this blog fairly well, and so that's what I'd like to do...

I will not take a political stance.  I will not take a religious stance.  I will not bash North Carolina because I love where I am from.  But I will take a stance of loyalty.  And love.  And friendship.  And happiness.

I am FIERCELY loyal.  This gets me in trouble sometimes.  A friend can go through something rough with another person, and long after they have buried the hatchet, I am still walking around carrying a torch and with a bad taste in my mouth about the person that hurt them or did them wrong.  A blessing and a curse, this loyalty.  But it's just how I am.

This brings me to my most personal - VERY personal - connection to Amendment One.  My dear, dear friend Amanda.

Amanda and I met in high school, and got to know each other through very high school-like things - Student Council, Yearbook Staff, etc.  She is a SCREAM and one of my very, very favorite people on this planet. 

I can remember SO vividly, my Junior year in high school, when she talked me off of a ledge about worrying so much about what everyone thinks.   It was something silly about being invited to a dance and people that weren't were being mean to me about it (I know, I know, the DRAMA.  But it was high school.)  I am super sensitive (and really was then), so having anyone even slightly upset with me bothered me so, so badly.  But she looked me in the face, over the table in our 7th period Yearbook class, and told me not to worry about it.  That not everyone is nice and not everyone will agree with everything.  But not to worry about those folks - because it is your true friends that will be there for the long-haul, anyway.

A few years ago, I found out Amanda was gay.  I heard "through the grapevine" and then tried to track her down, to get in touch with her.  Almost a year later, I finally did, and we met for lunch.  She wasn't aware that I knew, and about halfway through lunch, after some general catching up and small talk, she told me she was really glad we had finally caught up because she needed to talk to me about something...and that she couldn't figure out how to until then.  I stopped her and told her that I knew.  And that I didn't care.  And that I would love her if her skin turned green and she shaved her head and was 4 feet tall.  It didn't change who she was to me...  And I remember thinking how sad I was that she had felt that I would care.  The very person who, all those years ago, talked me out of that same corner of worrying about what other people think.  She wasn't worried about me specifically, I don't think, but just anyone.  It had taken me nearly a year to get an email or phone call back from her.  But I remember being SO grateful to sit in that moment and talk to her about it all.  And the bottom line of it all?  She looked me square in the face and told me that she was the happiest she had ever been in her life.  And I remember crying, because I was so happy FOR her.

That afternoon I met Marie, and I instantly understood the connection.  When the phone call came down the road from Amanda telling me that they had decided to get married, I wasn't the least bit surprised.  They knew it wouldn't be a legally recognized event, but the importance to them was to have their friends and family in one place and commit to each other.

I was very, VERY humbled when they asked me to do some of the photography for the wedding.  I would stay with Amanda for the day, another friend would stay with Marie, and then we would both shoot things once the ceremony started.

I have been around a LOT of weddings.  In them, there to help photograph them...  The whole day of this one didn't feel anything different from any of the rest.  Amanda actually got ready at the same salon my sister did for her wedding.  I ran around and took photos of Amanda having her hair and makeup done, of details in the salon.  I stuck their rings in roses that were there and shot those.  I headed back to the hotel with Amanda and got to be there the whole time she got ready.  For about an hour and a half it was actually just the two of us, and I remember thinking how grateful I was for that time (that I didn't necessarily know would be that way).  The bridal party busted in soon, dresses everywhere, a little champagne to accompany the quick sandwiches being shared, vows being finished...me finding all of the details that I love to shoot for such an occasion.

It wasn't any different.  Amanda was nervous but excited.  She was reflective and beautiful.  She was HAPPY.

The wedding was beautiful and - even as my first experience at such a thing - didn't seem that different to me at all.  I didn't come away thinking of it as different at all.  I instead came away thinking about Amanda's young nephew who stripped his shirt off in the back of the ceremony site and played with his airplanes.  I remember the music.  I remember almost tripping over the bottom of my dress trying to get up from taking a shot of them exchanging vows.  I remember how beautiful the flowers were.  I remember Amanda's dad walking her down the aisle and Marie's brother doing the same for her.

I have a crystal clear memory of Amanda's sisters - who I babysat for when I was in college - sitting in the front row before the ceremony.  They were nervous.  One of them couldn't get her corsage pinned on because her sweet hands were shaking.  I got down on my knees, offered to help, and talked to her while I worked on her flower.  I told her I knew this was different.  But that it was okay.  And that Amanda was HAPPY.  We loved her and she was happy and that's what mattered.  She nodded and hugged me and two hours later I watched her cutting a heck of a rug on the dance floor with everyone else, having a blast. :)

Amanda and Marie are no different to me than any other married couple that I am friends with.  The only issue I have when I go see them at their house is not that they are gay, but that their cat stirs up my allergies.  My only argument with them is that neither of them cheer for my Wolfpack.  They are fun and loving and warm and hilariously funny and I will be friends with both of them forever.

And they will - one day, somehow, I know - be parents.  And I will show up with bells on toting my favorite baby gift of a monogrammed blanket and send my customary First Christmas ornament.  Their children will love sailing and golden retrievers and the Heels and the Hoosiers.  And they will be wise, beautiful, driven people because they will be a reflection of their parents.

Like I said - I will not get on any political or religious soapboxes.  But I will get on a happiness one.  It is all - ALL - we should ever want for those people that we love.  And if they are happy, who are we to judge?